Fuck it: A Fat Girl’s Guide to Being Happy

Fuck it: A Fat Girl’s Guide to Being Happy

Fuck it: A Fat Girl’s Guide to Being Happy in a World that Hates You

[Note: There is a linked article with very very anti fat views posted below. It is posted through a “NoFollow” so the site will not get the views but the content is crass, disgusting and hateful.]

Society hates nothing more than fat women. If all else fails in an argument, call your opponent “fat” because no other word would fill them with more shame. If a woman rejects your advances at a party, call her fat because what else would send her home in tears? If a woman doesn’t respond to your OKCupid message, call her a cow because how else will you communicate her lack of worth?

How many times a day do fat women in the social sphere have vitriol hurled at them because of their size? How often are fat celebrities type casted as the ugly friend or the helpless, pitiful friend? In a world where plus sized is apparently a Size 8 and fat is synonymous with disgusting, how do fat girls stay happy? How do we maintain body positivity when the world says we are worthy of hate? By sharing a peek into my fat girl’s guide I hope to make it much easier for you to navigate a society that’s been trained to hurt you.

Kinship with other Fat Posi Friends

I never knew that I was allowed to be happy in my fat body until I met my best friend, Gia. We’re both fat ladies who fucking love to eat, are in happy relationships with people that love our bodies, and we have dedicated so much of our lives to the body love movement.. It took me meeting and loving someone living a near mirror of my life for me to be able to love myself.

gia_me
Gia and I outside the Hoh Rainforest in 2015

I was a volleyball player in middle and high school. I was never skinny, I was the first girl in school to need a real bra, but I was smaller and definitely more athletic. My body type was nearer to the socially acceptable shape. And then I hit turned 19 years old and my weight skyrocketed for a number of reasons but, for the sake of it, let’s just say it stayed at the peak. I’ve been at the same weight, been a fat girl, for the better part of my adult life and it took me seven years to be okay with that. I thought that being fat only came with shame and self-hatred, I thought it was about depriving yourself of happiness to be more palatable to the rest of the world. If a fat girl hates herself, that’s acceptable to the rest of the world, because what is there to love when you’re fat? To combat this vitriol I actively seek out people, social media profiles and articles that embrace and endorse fat women that love themselves. In the last couple of years, I have thrown myself into the fat positivity movement. I have invested my time in reading fat posi blogs and am reclaiming the descriptor “fat.” In a world that tells me I am worth nothing, I actively seek out folks that will tell me I’m worth EVERYTHING.

Take Pride in Accomplishments that Aren’t Your Body

Do you work with a local charity? Be proud of that, you are a kind and generous person. If you are a loyal friend, if you are the Hufflepuff of the group that would do anything for someone you love, be proud of that. If you are an educator in any capacity, you are a rare human. To teach is the most humbling act in the universe and that is an accomplishment that you should truly be praised for your work and effort. If you are raising children or caring for sick or elderly family members you have a servant’s heart and that is one of the most beautiful qualities a person can possess. But, you can be all of those things and if you’re a fat woman, the world will still try to sell you on the idea that you aren’t valuable. Do you know what I say to that? “Fuck it.”  You have so much more to offer than your body and any one who doesn’t see that isn’t worthy of spending time with you. Listen to me when I tell you that your body does not define your entire worth.

Take Pride in Your Body

I couldn’t post this without covering that you should love your body. Every fat girl has been told, “You’re not fat, you’re beautiful” or “You might be fat, but you’re kind/strong/smart.” How about I’m fat AND kind, AND strong, AND smart. I’m a fat girl but my legs are strong, they can lift so much, they can move so far, I can walk through an airport faster than most. My body is soft and squishy and that makes for amazing hugs. My husband loves snuggling up to me because my body is warm and welcoming. I have huge boobs that I love, that make me feel sexy as hell. Stop listening to the people that try to take away your pride in your body. It belongs to you and you should love it for all that it can accomplish. When the world tries to attribute your worth to something other than your body, they are telling you that your shell sucks but at least you have something going for you. I think we should all be kind and generous, but not because we’re trying to make up for the “faults” of our body. So, when you’re feeling like the world will never love you because of the body you have, throw everything you have into loving it that much more. Spoil the living shit out of yourself whenever you can. When you’re feeling down, undress and lower yourself into a luxurious bath. Pamper yourself with a foot scrub, shave your legs if you want, paint your nails, rub scented lotion all over your body. Remind your body that it is well loved even if the world says otherwise. You are no diamond in the rough. You are steel and sometimes you just need a little polishing in the way of self love to shine again.

5 thoughts on “Fuck it: A Fat Girl’s Guide to Being Happy

  1. omg AMEN!!!!!!!!! As a fellow “fat girl”, I personally don’t even think of myself as fat. I’m thick and sexy as hell!! I’m curvy EVERYWHERE, and I LOVE ME! Personally, I have never, ever had a problem getting a man, so it shocks me how much hate there still is out there for us bigger lovely women.

    I cannot agree more with this entire article. High school and middle school were very difficult for me for this exact reason. But I had such a poker face that nobody really knew how much other people’s comments hurt. Thank God for college! I accepted myself, and then LOVED myself. I don’t want others to just be happy ‘accepting’ their weight. LOVE IT! If you need to change for health reasons, then do it for health, NOT due to societal pressure.

    KUDOS to you beautiful women! xoxoxo

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